Preternatural Gifts 2 - Before - A/X
by Kylia
Summary: Xander and Angel talk... sort of


**TITLE: Before (1/1)  
SERIES: Preternatural Gifts (Part 2)  
AUTHOR: Kylia (kylia_bug@yahoo.com)  
DISCLAIMER: Nobody belongs to me, unfortunately. They belong to Joss & Mutant Enemy, and a few other people I don't know.  
RATING: R  
SPOILERS: General S1 AtS - references to S3 BtVS; Some AtS Season 2; Specific Spoilers from Restless & Primevil throughout the series  
CATEGORY: Romance, angst, general demon slaying  
PAIRINGS: Xander/Angel; Cordelia/Gunn  
SUMMARY: Xander explains sort of  
DISTRIBUTION: My site (http://kyliasworld.cjb.net), AENO, List archives, anyone else, ask, and you shall receive. Previous parts to this series can be found here: http://members.tripod.com/kylias_world/Fiction/BtVS_AtS/Xander_Angel/PreternaturalGifts/seriesindex.html   
FEEDBACK: Please My muses need to be fed  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: For those of you who are following the WWAWDHA series, this is a sort of companion piece that depicts was Angel & Cordy have been up to while Wes is away.  
AUTHOR'S NOTES 2: This takes places several months after the events in "To Shanshu in LA", Some of the Season 2 events have happened, but without Wesley.  
AUTHOR'S NOTES 3: This fic deals heavily with the consequences of the spell Xander, Giles & Willow performed in 'Primevil'  
DEDICATION: To Kaite, & Liz, and everyone who wanted more.  
********** **

Angel turned around and walked swiftly to the wall. The axe was embedded rather deeply and it took him a moment to pull it out, even with his vampire strength. He examined it for several long seconds, not entirely certain the axe itself hadn't caused its flight into the wall.

"Sorry." Xander mumbled. And he was, too. Sorry that he had come here. Sorry that he had been forced into this situation. Sorry that he was now faced with dealing with Angel, and most of all, sorry that he had ended up doing the one thing he swore he wouldn't do.

Shaking off his own internal regrets, Xander stood a little straighter and took a cautious step towards the vampire. "Look, this was a a bad idea. I'll find a room somewhere and leave tomorrow. Forget I even came here." He started to turn around when Angel's voice stopped him.

"I can't do that."

Xander froze in his spot uncertain what to do now. He was tired and confused and scared. This, whatever *this* was, was completely new. And not necessarily of the good.

*This* went beyond vampires and slayers and demon hunting and other things that went bump in the night. This was completely alien. As in, not of this earth alien, as far as he was concerned.

"I should go." He tried, futilely.

"You should stay." Angel stepped closer, a little more cautious this time. "Besides, we haven't seen each other in awhile. We need to talk."

Xander turned his head to look at Angel, who was watching him with unreadable eyes. "Talk?" His lips quirked slightly. "Is that what they call it here in the big city?"

For a moment Xander thought he saw something reflected in Angel's dark eyes but then it was gone.

"I wouldn't know." Angel replied quietly. 

There was a thick silence in the room, neither man willing to break it. Finally after several long seconds Xander turned back towards the door and started walking away.

"Where are you going?" Angel asked with a slight edge to his voice as he realized Xander wasn't even going to say anything.

"To a hotel, to get a room." Xander answered from just inside the door.

"This is a hotel. I have rooms." Angel paused for a second. "Or didn't you notice?"

Xander spun around, detecting the slight humor in the vampire's tone. "Yeah, I did. But I didn't think you'd want me here after what happened before."

Before.

The word seemed to hang between them like this silent, living thing, lurking in the shadows, watching, waiting, not knowing or caring what havoc it created.

Before.

The word brought back memories to both men. Memories, unbidden, unwanted. Memories that belonged in that place in your mind where you stick all of the things you regret doing. Except that they didn't. Regret was a funny thing.

Angel pulling open a drawer and fishing out a key chain broke the silence. Xander hadn't even heard him move, but that wasn't unusual. Stealth was Angel's middle name.

Angel removed a single key off of the key ring and walked back to Xander, holding it out. "You'll have to stay on the third floor. It's not far from my room, but we're still in the process of remodeling, so it'll have to do."

Xander stepped forward and took the key. "Thanks." He followed Angel up the stairs when the rest of Angel's words repeated inside his head. "How far is *not far*?"

Angel froze in is trek up the steps. "Next door."

Xander shook his head. "That's not a good idea." He turned away from the stairs, walking back down. "I'll find someplace else to stay."

He hadn't gotten more than a couple of feet when Angel grabbed his wrist, halting any further movement. Before either could comment the sound of something shaking nearby drew their attention.

Some paintings hanging on the wall nearest the staircase started to shake. Xander looked down to where Angel's cool hand gripped his wrist and then back up at the wall just in time to see the center painting fly off and hit the ground. The force with which it landed was enough to split the frame.

Xander turned his gaze away from the wall and back to the vampire. "This isn't a good idea." He whispered certain now more than ever that he was right. Coming here had been a mistake.

"No, this is the only idea." Angel's voice was equally soft. He moved his eyes from Xander's face to the wall and then back again. "You need help. You need my help."

Xander forced himself not to respond with the remark, 'No, I need you.' And just nodded instead. "I'll stay."

Angel released his grip and visibly relaxed. Stepping aside, the vampire waited for Xander to proceed him up the steps before continuing to the third floor. Once they had reached the top of the stairs, Angel showed him to an empty room and opened the door.

"Most of the rooms are unlocked, and empty. "Cordelia has a room on another floor for when we work late, but with Wes gone, it's pretty quiet most of the time." Angel set the key down on an end table and turned towards Xander, hoping he would say something. The silence between them was deafening, the tension palpable.

The seconds stretched into minutes as Angel watched Xander sit in an empty chair and close his eyes. He waited for the mortal to say something, anything that would break the silence. He wanted him to explain what was going on, to tell him how things in Sunnydale were. Hell, he would even welcome a demand that he leave, so long as there was *some* sort of communication.

"So" He began, not sure what to say or where to start.

Xander lifted his head off of the back of the chair and looked at the vampire who hadn't moved from his spot near the door. He raised an eyebrow at the odd expression on Angel's face. 

"So?" Xander questioned and then, as if realizing for the first time what Angel was trying to say, he nodded. "You want to know what's happened? Why I'm all of a sudden Mr.-flying-object-guy?"

Angel stepped further into the room and sat down on the bed, which was across from Xander's chair. "I want to know why you left." 

He hadn't meant to say that. Really, he hadn't. But the question had been on his mind for countless hours in the past year and now, with xander just inches away, he couldn't *not* ask it. 

Angel looked into Xander's face, hoping to see some sign that would explain the answer to the question, even if Xander refused to answer it himself. All he saw was this odd look in Xander's eyes, but only for a second. Then it was replaced by this dark look.

The look Angel recognized. From before. It was look Xander wore when he was trying to block everything out, and pretend none of it mattered. There was a time when the boy wouldn't have bothered to use that look on him, but obviously, that time was gone. Disappeared along with everything else.

Xander sat up and leaned forward so that he was only a few inches from the vampire. "You left. I didn't." He whispered.

"I left Sunnydale. You left *Us*." Angel clarified.

Xander leaned back in the chair and sighed. "That's not why I'm here." 

Angel heard the weariness in Xander's voice and relented, if only for a little while. "Why are you here? What happened?"

Xander ran a hand through his hair and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm not exactly sure. About a month ago stuff started happening. Weird stuff. At first I thought I was imagining it. Or it was some weird Hellmouthy thing, but then it kept getting stronger, more dangerous, more real. Spike told me I should come here. So here I am."

Angel tried to make sense of the vague information. It was almost a full minute later when he realized what Xander had said. "Spike? What's he got to do with this?"

"Nothing really." Xander smiled ruefully. "We had a sort of accident a few weeks back."

"An accident?" Angel asked carefully.

Xander stood up and began pacing around the room. "He was wandering around Sunnydale, trying to scare people out of their money, or some other insane Spike-like thing. Anyway, I had been out with Anya, but we got in this fight, and she left, so I was walking home alone." Xander raised his hand to stop whatever Angel was about to say about the dangers of Sunnydale nightlife. "I know, not safe, but the streets were pretty empty after that whole thing with the Initiative and Adam.

"So he comes up behind me and screams, trying to scare me. It works." Xander stopped pacing and turned his dark eyes onto Angel. "It worked really well. The next thing I know, your boy goes flying through the air. He lands on the ground with a loud thump. I thought for sure he broke something, which of course he did." Xander shook his head at the memory. 

"It was weird. I took him back to my place, fed him, and patched him up. And the whole time he doesn't say a word. Not a single word. Which for Spike, was odd. I was sort of in a state of shock. Nothing like that had ever happened, and I hoped it never would again."

"But?" Angel asked patiently when he realized Xander had stopped talking. He didn't want to analyze why Xander felt it necessary to feed and tend to Spike. That was something he wasn't even close to wanting to think about much less discuss.

Xander shrugged. "But nothing. It wasn't the last time. I don't even think it was the first time. But it was the first time that anything as large as a person had been moved so far so quickly."

Angel sat in silence for a few moments thinking over everything that had been revealed. "Why?"

"Why what?" Xander asked tiredly. He really did need some sleep.

"Why Spike? Why then?"

Xander walked back to the chair and flopped down. "Best I can figure, he startled me. It was some sort of reflex action. Although I gotta tell you, I'm not liking the reflex of throwing people around like so much garbage." He quirked his lips slightly. "Although in junior's case, it was appropriate."

Angel smiled at the comment and then frowned as he thought more about what Xander had told him. "What does Giles think? Buffy?"

Xander remained silent.

"You didn't tell them." It was a statement.

"What was I supposed to say, 'oh excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt but useless, non-college-going guy here has weirdness?'" Xander shook his head. "No, the only person I could have told this to was Wills."

"And she's gone." Angel supplied.

"Yeah." Xander sighed and rubbed his eyes.

Angel stood up. "Look, the sun will be up in a few hours, why don't you get some sleep and we'll talk some more tomorrow."

Xander nodded. "Ok."

Angel walked back towards the door but stopped before he reached it. "You'll stay here? At least until we can talk?" His voice was soft, unsure what he was really asking, and unwilling to admit as much.

"Yeah, I'll be here." Xander looked across the room and their eyes locked. "Thanks."

Angel smiled slightly. "You can always count on me. You know that, right?"

Xander stood from the chair and walked slowly to the door. "I do, but I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me" He trailed off and then sighed deeply, realizing that it was impossible to ignore the past. "You were right. I did leave us."

Angel closed his eyes as he remembered events not too far in the past that he couldn't recall them with startling clarity. "Why?"

Xander opened his mouth as if to answer the question and then closed it again. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath. "I can't. Not now. Not yet."

Angel nodded his understanding and left the room quietly, shutting the door behind him. Once he had reached his own room he leaned against the door.

"Not yet, but soon." He whispered into the still air, vowing that despite everything else, he would finally learn the truth about what had happened.

**** 

[**Return To Series Index**][1]

   [1]: seriesindex.html



End file.
